Which Box!?!

When I was young, my twin brothers had a hard time with their speech. They never spoke many words until they were about 6 years old. They had a basic grasp of the language, but problems they had during birth made it difficult for them to actually pronounce words. When they tried to talk, it sounded like a mix of Chinese and Spanish accents complimenting their actual English. This made communication difficult and many individuals had an extremely difficult time trying to understand them.

            Even my parents had a hard time trying to decipher the code my brothers had created. While it was difficult for me and my parents to understand, my brothers could sit together and carry on a full conversation with each other, knowing exactly what the other was saying. What made things the most difficult though was trying to explain things to them myself.

            If you have ever tried to explain something to someone and get feedback, you can only imagine what it would be like to try and communicate without knowing if the person you are talking to truly understands what you are talking about. Words themselves do not help in this situation, and instead head nods, shakes, and finger pointing take over for those words we take for granted. Ok, yes, sure, all these simple words that we cannot use are transformed into physical signals we use to communicate. Unbelievably, the extent at which we can use them can make and an undecipherable, gibberish conversation become a full blown argument.

            I will always remember one time when I was young, waking up early in the morning and getting breakfast. Everyone else in the house was asleep, and I calmly ate my Cheerios making sure I did not wake anyone up. Eventually my Mother awoke, preparing coffee for my father who was due to arise at any moment. My father, who was quite cranky until he had his morning coffee, awoke to the smell of the fresh brew and came out ready to pour. As he made it to the kitchen, my twin brothers dragged themselves out of their room, ready for their routine bowl of cereal. Not being able to say fully what they wanted they began chanting “Cereal, cereal!” pointing at the cupboard mouths drooling in anticipation. When my father opened the drawer, he was greeted by four different boxes of cereal. Asking which one my brothers wanted, my brothers could only stare and point. When you can’t say Cheerios, Captain Crunch, Raisin Bran, even trying to convey your wishes for breakfast can become a tedious task. My father growing aggravated because he just woke up and hadn’t had his coffee began to yell at my brothers. I stepped in telling him what each of my brothers wanted. I had a hard time understanding them, but somehow could manage to understand what they wanted to say. The fact that they couldn’t speak did not grant him the right to engage them in that way, and being a young child myself I stepped in the only way I could.

            This event reminds me of the essay by Corballis. When communicating with my brothers, everything was hand gestures. They had to overcome their shortfalls by using hand signals as their tool to garnish understanding. But seeing the story above, we can also see the shortfalls of using hand signals to communicate. Everyone knew they wanted cereal, but which box? How was my father supposed to know that one child liked Captain Crunch and the other wanted Honeycomb? None of this excuses my father’s unneeded reaction to his own frustration, but I believe we can all see how communication of this type can create this frustration, especially when you have two young children who are just as aggravated as you trying to tell you their message. Even I was not immune to the frustration, because at times even I could not decipher what it was that they wanted.