Broad Spectrum Communication

Mrs. Akin,

I completely agree with your assessment “a speaker attempts to code ideas, feelings, ideas, and images with words. Those words are transferred to the listener who then matches them with their own experiences.” In my life in particular, there are many times I can pinpoint this trait of conversation, and I can tell you, when the listener deconstructs the code I expressed, it is often not exactly the idea I meant to convey.

There are many failures to our vocabulary, most of those errors due to the fact that many people have different meanings for words. I might say “Great!” but how do you know I mean “Great!” or if I am being sarcastic when I say “Great!” like when you find out you just got fired. My tone tells the story. You can tell which version of the word I am using through my tone and emotion when I say the word, without those tones my true intentions would be lost.

Now what if I am in the middle of a conversation and say “Great!” If you were talking about something good, you would probably side with the good translation, but if you were angry, you would have sided with the sarcastic one. But what if I meant the other? If you were talking about something bad, and I said “Great!” all happy and jubilant, wouldn’t you automatically assume I was happy about whatever bad thing happened to you? I know if that was the position I was in, I would be extremely angry.

When it comes to failures in communication, much of the failures in the code are not a failure of words, but a failure in how those words are expressed. Our tones can just as easily be misinterpreted as our words. Our sarcasm misinterpreted as a real statement of our feelings. When we study the code of speech, we must also study the code of body language and tone. You cannot discuss one without the other, as the meaning of our words is externally decoded not only in the words we choose, but also the way in which we say it.

I find the most common place for this kind of misunderstanding to be when members of the opposite sex communicate. If you tell a story, and the other party does not make eye contact, we feel ignored. This causes the speaker to get aggravated and then maybe the two parties become hostile towards each other. This is not a code of words that was spoken, but a silent code of body language. Even if the person not making eye contact was listening intently, paying attention to every word, we still feel as if we are being ignored.

When we try to cross the communication gap you need to be aware of three key factors. First, the words you speak have different meanings to every individual; they carry a different weight for each person you talk to. Second, the tone in which you speak will say almost as much as your words. If you talk in a sad manner, the listener more than likely respond in the same fashion, or with some semblance of sympathy. Lastly, the body language, hand gestures, and physical parts of a conversation can speak volumes about what you are trying to convey, I can tell when my daughter is excited just by seeing her jump up and down, squealing, and the big smile on her face. No words are spoken, but I know exactly what she is thinking.

I believe you oversimplify the idea of crossing the communication gap, but share some great insights to the weight of words, and how they are interpreted and delivered from speaker to listener. I just feel as if you oversimplify the means of delivery, remember that delivery is the key to understanding, if the delivery service messes up, the listener will receive a broken package. Always understand the importance of delivery and the nonverbal communication that can say just as much, if not more than the actual words themselves.