How we differ.........

            There are many differences in the way that men and women communicate non-verbally. Many differences come through in the tone of voice and touch. Men and women both share many of the same facial expressions, though the way in which we use them can be very different.

            I will begin by first exploring how men and women use the tone of their voice to communicate, pointing out a key difference. When a man and a woman have a discussion, there are times when a male will subconsciously change the pitch of his voice in order to seem more masculine. This is especially true of men who are seeking mates, the deeper voice in this case being to attract the opposite sex. Females on the other hand lower their voice. They speak in softer tones once again to seem more attractive to the opposite gender. This is not only true when they are seeking mates, but in general. When females are actively listening, they tend to use softer tones and speak in a softer manner then men. It is not only because their voices are softer but that the softer voice tells the speaker that they are listening.

            Now that we have discussed how men tend to speak in deeper, resonant tones, and woman speak in higher, softer tones, we can now discuss how men and women use touch when they talk. Men have a very difficult time touching other males. It’s just a fact. I am not saying that there are not some males who are not open to touching others, but that men in general seem to keep physical contact with each other to a minimum. I find that females are much more open when it comes to other females touching them. For instance, how often do you see two unrelated males hugging each other? My guess is not very often, but actually very rarely. On the other hand, how often do you see two women hug each other? I think it is much more common. Take for instance southern males, who would probably rather be caught dead then hug another male, and this even goes for fathers and sons.

            Suffice it to say, this does not mean we are discussing different languages. It’s just that men and women use different means of conveying the same nonverbal messages. While men might lower their voice and extend the length of what they say in astonishment “Noooo Waaay” a female might say in a higher tone and faster “No Way!” The tones help express their astonishment, excitement, or surprise, men and woman just use different tones. We grow up with it, and we learn how to decipher these codes by inspecting discussions from the time we are born until now.

            It is very important to note that we do learn these differences as we grow. Our parents and friends as we go through life will be the educational basis of learning these different habits by different genders. We learn our nonverbal speech from the ones who are closest to us. We learn their patterns and tone, emulating it as we grow older, discarding those which we dislike and fully integrating others into our speech. We all learn differing nonverbal habits, but we are not speaking different languages.

Broad Spectrum Communication

Mrs. Akin,

I completely agree with your assessment “a speaker attempts to code ideas, feelings, ideas, and images with words. Those words are transferred to the listener who then matches them with their own experiences.” In my life in particular, there are many times I can pinpoint this trait of conversation, and I can tell you, when the listener deconstructs the code I expressed, it is often not exactly the idea I meant to convey.

There are many failures to our vocabulary, most of those errors due to the fact that many people have different meanings for words. I might say “Great!” but how do you know I mean “Great!” or if I am being sarcastic when I say “Great!” like when you find out you just got fired. My tone tells the story. You can tell which version of the word I am using through my tone and emotion when I say the word, without those tones my true intentions would be lost.

Now what if I am in the middle of a conversation and say “Great!” If you were talking about something good, you would probably side with the good translation, but if you were angry, you would have sided with the sarcastic one. But what if I meant the other? If you were talking about something bad, and I said “Great!” all happy and jubilant, wouldn’t you automatically assume I was happy about whatever bad thing happened to you? I know if that was the position I was in, I would be extremely angry.

When it comes to failures in communication, much of the failures in the code are not a failure of words, but a failure in how those words are expressed. Our tones can just as easily be misinterpreted as our words. Our sarcasm misinterpreted as a real statement of our feelings. When we study the code of speech, we must also study the code of body language and tone. You cannot discuss one without the other, as the meaning of our words is externally decoded not only in the words we choose, but also the way in which we say it.

I find the most common place for this kind of misunderstanding to be when members of the opposite sex communicate. If you tell a story, and the other party does not make eye contact, we feel ignored. This causes the speaker to get aggravated and then maybe the two parties become hostile towards each other. This is not a code of words that was spoken, but a silent code of body language. Even if the person not making eye contact was listening intently, paying attention to every word, we still feel as if we are being ignored.

When we try to cross the communication gap you need to be aware of three key factors. First, the words you speak have different meanings to every individual; they carry a different weight for each person you talk to. Second, the tone in which you speak will say almost as much as your words. If you talk in a sad manner, the listener more than likely respond in the same fashion, or with some semblance of sympathy. Lastly, the body language, hand gestures, and physical parts of a conversation can speak volumes about what you are trying to convey, I can tell when my daughter is excited just by seeing her jump up and down, squealing, and the big smile on her face. No words are spoken, but I know exactly what she is thinking.

I believe you oversimplify the idea of crossing the communication gap, but share some great insights to the weight of words, and how they are interpreted and delivered from speaker to listener. I just feel as if you oversimplify the means of delivery, remember that delivery is the key to understanding, if the delivery service messes up, the listener will receive a broken package. Always understand the importance of delivery and the nonverbal communication that can say just as much, if not more than the actual words themselves.

English!

            There are many factors that have led to the globalization of English. First, Great Britain and the United States both speak English, and both have been dominant superpowers since the early 1800’s. Add to this the expansion of English throughout Europe, and most of the world now knows at least a little bit of English. In order for any other country to economically benefit and gain protection from a dominant superpower, they almost must speak English. The advent of the internet, a global network of individuals, has lead to a major increase of English speakers because the vast majority of information on the internet is written in English.

            I believe that this is basically the most important fact. The internet has led to an exponential burst of people that want to learn to speak English. They want to have the advantage of speaking the most common language in the world. Without that advantage, they leave themselves lacking when it comes to competing in a global market, or being a productive member of the global society. As long as English remains the central language, more and more individuals will learn to speak it.

            Within the next 20 years, we will continue to see the growth of English speaking people throughout the globe. The use of English will become more and more common, but any country that is an economic or global power will have individuals within them learn English. The Countries who are struggling to compete will recognize that knowing English is integral to their strength economically.

            Within the next 50 years, almost all citizens of a global superpower will speak fluent English. Whether you are Chinese, Japanese, French, or German, you will be required to be fluent in the English language. More individuals who speak English will start to arrive in countries that are economically and socially disadvantaged, and begin to spread English throughout even those countries.

            Within the next 100 years, almost all members of the global society will speak English. All of Europe and almost all of Asia (at least the richer and more advanced countries) will know how to speak fluent English. A lot of Africa will also, but some of the smaller, more remote countries may not require their citizens to speak English. There will be almost no choice as to whether you want to speak English or not, but whether you can afford the schooling required to teach English to the members of your society. Obviously, there are countries which are not even close to ready to begin teaching citizens English, and some who are already taking the required steps to advance our language.

            Remember that when I say “Speak English,” I refer to basic, general English. I am not talking about regional English, or “Southern English.” They won’t understand some of our slang, or twists on word meanings. They will have the necessary skill to speak the language, that’s it. As long as the United States and Britain Remain the forefront superpowers of the world, other countries have no choice but to learn the English language, because American and British individuals will be travelling around the world, wanting to spend money, and if these countries want to get a piece of that pie, they are going to have to learn to communicate with English speaking people.

             

Writing is Like Risk?

             When it is rainy outside we all get stuck indoors, waiting for the sun to come out s owe can then go about our day without the fear of getting wet and catching a cold. When the power goes out because of an errant lightning bolt, and the television goes out we have all pulled out a board game to pass the time. One of my family’s favorites was Risk, and I believe there are many ideas in Risk that can be carried over into reading.

            Firstly we have the board and the pieces. The board in this case represents the area or environment in which we are playing. Just like when writing a paper, we need to understand what type of paper we are writing. We need an environment based on what our paper is trying to convey. If it is a piece of fiction, this may be an environment created solely in our heads, but in a piece of nonfiction the environment can be found through research. When we write papers for classes, the environment nearly always ends up being the topic of the said class, whether that is Psychology or Music History.

            Once we know our environment, we can begin writing the actual paper. This is where the pieces come in. Without the pieces there would be no game and the same could be carried over into writing. In Risk, there are cards you can acquire, that you match in order to get extra army members. These cards can be thought about as if this is the information you already know. These are the freebies that are not difficult to come by, just like information you have already learned before the prospect of writing a paper on the subject was even a possibility.

            Now we come to the little miniature army members. These can be thought of as the words which we use as we actually write our paper. As we attack other players in the game, just as we use words in order to get our ideas down on paper for others, we steadily work our way toward our goal. In this case it is towards writing our paper.

            Anyone can tell you in a game of Risk that the game has a lot of strategy, and there is also definitely a lot of strategy in writing. Am I going to stick my whole army in one spot and attack the opposing players from there? Doing this may be a sound strategy, now let’s look at how this translates to writing. If we research an idea or topic, there are many ways to approach it. If we choose to focus on one fact, to dump all of our research into that single area, we miss out on surrounding ideas that may be integral to our topic. In the case of risk, when you dump all your army into one area, you risk the possibility of getting flanked and overrun.

            Conversely, what happens when we evenly distribute our army across all of our controlled areas? We may in fact create a better defensive barrier, or in this case have a better general idea of what is going on in what we write about, but we lack the strength of knowledge one may have had in the previous example. Our arguments may not be as strong and as such our region may be weak to someone who dumps all there army into one area and attacks us, but we ourselves are better defended on all fronts. We have done our research, though we may still be weak to attacks.

            The main skill in Risk is balancing these two ideas. We need to defend all fronts of attack, and at the same time make sure we do not leave the back door open, lest in lead to our defeat. When we write, we need to understand the fronts which we are going to tackle the subject that we are writing about. We need to fortify our arguments with facts in order to build their strength. If we do not accomplish this, it may just be game over.

            When I write I think of it as a game of Risk, and follow a style as follows:

1. Understand or find my environment. If writing fiction create my environment.

                         2. Do all necessary research for the topic I have chosen. Scout the board.

                        3. Write a list of ideas/arguments. Find the areas to attack and defend.

4. Pick the most important ones, and do more research in just those areas. Fortify fronts of attack, and areas that need defending.

                        5. Finally begin writing my paper. Begin the attack.

Following this rubric allows us to choose the arguments which matter to us, thus allowing us greater opportunities to inject ourselves into our paper. When we write a research paper or term paper we need to remember not to get caught up in the facts. The facts are all great, but a list of facts can be read by anyone. Turning those facts into an entertaining piece of writing requires more preparation. Hopefully using the ideas above will allow you to be better prepared and as such instead of only focusing on the facts of your paper we can then use our own words in a way that is the most entertaining for the reader.

           

Letter to the Editor

Dear Editor,

            Coming from the state of California I find it difficult to see the hard times negroes in the South go through. Dr. King’s letter from Birmingham jail has made me understand the plight of the southern Negroes and has pushed me toward action, making me want to lend my own body to the south.

            In his letter he fully explains why he has been pushed towards using direct action through sit-ins, marches and explains that the way to communication is through these methods. By using these methods, the Negros force them into the spotlight, it creates an environment in which we can no longer ignore their demands and needs.  I believe we can all agree that when Dr. King states “Freedom is never given by the oppressor, it must be demanded by the oppressed,” he states a fact so true we see why the Negro is pushed to action. The south will never hand over more rights without a fight. Dr. King has brought a fight that has never been seen in America before. The fists are now will. The damage done is only to those who feel threatened by the actions of these men, and not the physical damage of war.

            How could we as people ever live in harmony after a battle of blood? The truth is, we never could. Revenge begets revenge, and hostility creates more blood. It would be an ongoing battle that never ceased, and is the wrong path to take. By taking the path of nonviolent action, Dr. King has proven that once and for all a merging of wills can overcome the greatest power on earth, the power of the U.S. government.

            There are few times on this earth where we are faces with the issues of today. When Dr. King speaks, he tells us that even if we aren’t the ones oppressing, the fact that we idly stand by and allow the oppression to happen leaves us partly responsible for the oppression. How can we deny that our inaction is part of the problem?  While we ignore injustice we allow that injustice to continue. When that injustice happens right under our noses and we ignore it, we do nothing to relieve the cycle. We must take a stand for those who are weaker than us, we must protect them as we protect our own family, only then can injustice be drowned out by the will of the majority.  

            These words have called me to action. No longer can I stand by while these men and women are trampled underfoot. The time has come to rise up against the injustices of this world, lest we follow the same path of the Nazi’s. I will under no condition be a part of a society that allows these injustices to happen. This will be proven not by my words, but my actions henceforth. The stirring words of Dr. King has allowed me to see the reason why this matter is important for me, though I might not share in their oppression, I will no longer stand by as the are oppressed.

Which Box!?!

When I was young, my twin brothers had a hard time with their speech. They never spoke many words until they were about 6 years old. They had a basic grasp of the language, but problems they had during birth made it difficult for them to actually pronounce words. When they tried to talk, it sounded like a mix of Chinese and Spanish accents complimenting their actual English. This made communication difficult and many individuals had an extremely difficult time trying to understand them.

            Even my parents had a hard time trying to decipher the code my brothers had created. While it was difficult for me and my parents to understand, my brothers could sit together and carry on a full conversation with each other, knowing exactly what the other was saying. What made things the most difficult though was trying to explain things to them myself.

            If you have ever tried to explain something to someone and get feedback, you can only imagine what it would be like to try and communicate without knowing if the person you are talking to truly understands what you are talking about. Words themselves do not help in this situation, and instead head nods, shakes, and finger pointing take over for those words we take for granted. Ok, yes, sure, all these simple words that we cannot use are transformed into physical signals we use to communicate. Unbelievably, the extent at which we can use them can make and an undecipherable, gibberish conversation become a full blown argument.

            I will always remember one time when I was young, waking up early in the morning and getting breakfast. Everyone else in the house was asleep, and I calmly ate my Cheerios making sure I did not wake anyone up. Eventually my Mother awoke, preparing coffee for my father who was due to arise at any moment. My father, who was quite cranky until he had his morning coffee, awoke to the smell of the fresh brew and came out ready to pour. As he made it to the kitchen, my twin brothers dragged themselves out of their room, ready for their routine bowl of cereal. Not being able to say fully what they wanted they began chanting “Cereal, cereal!” pointing at the cupboard mouths drooling in anticipation. When my father opened the drawer, he was greeted by four different boxes of cereal. Asking which one my brothers wanted, my brothers could only stare and point. When you can’t say Cheerios, Captain Crunch, Raisin Bran, even trying to convey your wishes for breakfast can become a tedious task. My father growing aggravated because he just woke up and hadn’t had his coffee began to yell at my brothers. I stepped in telling him what each of my brothers wanted. I had a hard time understanding them, but somehow could manage to understand what they wanted to say. The fact that they couldn’t speak did not grant him the right to engage them in that way, and being a young child myself I stepped in the only way I could.

            This event reminds me of the essay by Corballis. When communicating with my brothers, everything was hand gestures. They had to overcome their shortfalls by using hand signals as their tool to garnish understanding. But seeing the story above, we can also see the shortfalls of using hand signals to communicate. Everyone knew they wanted cereal, but which box? How was my father supposed to know that one child liked Captain Crunch and the other wanted Honeycomb? None of this excuses my father’s unneeded reaction to his own frustration, but I believe we can all see how communication of this type can create this frustration, especially when you have two young children who are just as aggravated as you trying to tell you their message. Even I was not immune to the frustration, because at times even I could not decipher what it was that they wanted.

Thinking Critically or Critically Thinking?

            As I go through life there are a few things that really matter to me. One that that has is the question, did I just react to situations or did I really think about my response to those actions? Did I make the right choices? I believe these are all questions we begin asking ourselves, and thinking critically allows us to be confident in our own skin.

             I believe it is important to think critically in all parts of our lives. I know doing this can be difficult at times, as I myself have been guilty of mindlessly going with the flow, or just breezing by with little to no thought, but there are certain aspects where thinking critically plays an important part in our lives.

            Politics is a prime example. Many times we cannot procure a well informed opinion of a candidate from just the advertisements on television, and I believe that doing research on candidates is and essential part of the voting process. Research the candidate, ask yourself if that candidate is right for you, and make a well informed decision. It seems like a basic idea, but many fail to even partake in this most simple act.

            I examine many things in my life critically, schoolwork being one of them. I believe that papers that are due or lessons we learn are not something for us to learn in passing, but information for us to absorb to use later, in order to delve into other topics with a broad spectrum of facts at our disposal. It teaches us how to approach problems we saw before that would make us shudder and never attempt.  I approach news programs in the same way. I believe in getting information from many sources, as rarely will only one source contain the information needed for us to truly understand what is happening in the world. The views put forth by one news source may differ completely from another, yet the facts they both give may be almost the same. In a world that is not solely based on facts, but also on the social boundaries laid forth by different cultures, it is extremely important for us to understand things not just from our own perspectives, but also from the perspectives of others.

            This only scratches the surface into what I think critically about, as the list I give could go on forever, but also explores a couple reasons why I believe thinking critically is important for all. Critical thinking is extremely important to me and I believe it should be for everyone. As we begin this class there is one thing I really hope to get out of it. I wish to improve the ways in which I take the information I have and be able to relay it to another.  Not just facts in general, but ideas and opinions, whether my audience agrees with my views or not. I want to become better at this not just for myself, but for those in the future I will meet, work with, or even build friendships with. I hope this is an integral stepping stool to get me there.